PART 2: The Moment Before "THE" Moment

Terrarosa, Tuscany

A). The Week Before It all begins

It has been more than 3 months since I have begun preparing for the Italian Wine Harvest. I am young, and unexperienced still in comparison to the others surrounding me in the Wine Industry of the World. No matter how much you prepare it seems only 15% of it ends up being useful. I knew this tidbit going into this expenditure, but that makes you more anxious during the wait. Starting from the moment you step on a plane, plans not only decide to change themselves, but they mock your original ideas. The only way you can truly move forward with any idea, is to understand that inconsistency is the most consistent force you will experience, and it is your job to not only expect this inconsistency, but enjoy all it haves to offer. This is easier said than done, like most things in life, but with practice you begin to learn to plan more broadly and let the details create themselves as you take a step forward every day. As my Spanish Friend Francisco loves to say in such moments, “a poquito a poco”.

B) Is Chasing A Dream Worth it?

Today I am writing to you from a chair outside our Tuscan Villa at Dusk. I can hear the motor of the 1970’s Vespa roaring on and off as Umberto attempts to fix the friction and break in the garden. The cats are wondering aimlessly around the grass under my table, and the family I am staying with is preparing dinner in the old outdoor kitchen behind my chair. The younger boys are chopping wood for the brick oven and there are children screaming and playing outside at our neighbor’s home. I have been to this Villa many times in my life, and always at different stages oflife. Every time I arrive here I am a growing young lady, always a bit lost and always a bit scared of life, but always, always brave as a lion. Sitting here I am able to not only look back on the different stages of life that I have sat in this same chair to study, but I am also able to look very far forward into the future. For the first time in my life, I am here as a young adult. I am here at the farm with dreams beyond school. Dreams of making a difference in the world, of having a family, and even realizing I am finally where I want to be in life; a place where I am old enough to run with an opportunity and a dream.

I was a financial analyst at the entry level this past year, right out of college. Society wanted that for me. It looked perfect on paper. It was what I went to College for. I wanted to make everyone around me proud, but my heart wouldn’t give in to the idea of a 9-5 job working for a cause I will never see the results from. I wanted to make a difference in this world. I didn’t know how, and I still don’t know how exactly, but I know quitting a job that wasn’t for my soul was the best decision I have ever made. This step was one massive leap forward in following a dream. Not a step to the side, or a step back. For the first time in a while, this was a massive leap forward. I think this blog is important to write, as it will capture my journey of both failures and success that hopefully will end up helping others somehow or in some way in the future.

C). Hopes and Fears:

Instagram @Fibonacci_Brokerage

As my journey begins, I come in with a clear mind, a priority to learn from everyone and everything I see and/meet, and to make both reasonable and, for the hell of it, unreachable goals. In life there has been plenty of moments I have reached too far and fell hard, bute has been moments in which I have done the same and touched the moon. After such experiences, it makes you a dreamer, and it makes you hungry for more. I will be open to anyone who reads my words. I am scared in this moment. But, it’s a fear I have never known, and one in which I actually enjoy.

My fears at the moment are multiplying, but I also know that when I don’t have fear or adrenaline in my life, then I am unhappy. So tonight I am smiling, because I am grateful for this feeling. This brilliant feeling of butterflies in your stomach that are not for chasing a lover or another person, but butterflies for a dream. I have always heard the stories “you can accomplish anything” and you see the movies portraying rags to riches, but we never see what goes on in between. I am motivated, I am passionate, I am hard working… but I still do not understand what exactly to do. I think a lot of people get to the point that I am at, and give up early on.

It is terrifying to be in this situation. There is no book on how to piece together your exact situation, just like there is no book to properly prepare you for having a baby or raising kids. People can give you advice, tools, and help, but there is a spiritual presence that I am seeking to connect all my knowledge and tools together. I believe this “Spiritual Presence” is the glue of my project. This project of mine, whether I fail or succeed in the end, will help me grow. My goal of this first harvest season, above all, is to find this “spiritual glue” to begin connecting my project and ideas together to create a business.